FAMILY RELATIONS CAN BE TROUBLE—OR NOT.

Family gathers and it looks like some are looking for trouble.

My thanks is not limited to family, friends, food, and pilgrims who started this Thanksgiving thing. This year, I’ve decided that I'm also thankful for trouble.

 I'm not talking about chaos-for-the-sake-of-it trouble. I'm grateful for the kind that forces us to act, grow, and become braver versions of ourselves. Every book I've ever written has been inspired by a very real trouble that came in search of me, people I care about, or people I can relate to.

THE SPECIFICS

I'm not talking about a fleeting drama or an annoyance. I'm talking about trouble that, when it's over, we can say '"Remember when we had to deal with this? I'm proud of how we handled it. I'm proud of us." This is my personal list of troubles and the outcomes that make me thankful. I bet you recognize a few of these.

• The moment we didn't get what we wanted—and got something better.

• The argument that revealed what really mattered.

• The challenge that made us sharper, smarter.

• The pain we worked through that made us more compassionate.

• The destruction of something meaningful that we then built up again

THIS THANKSGIVING

When your host asks everyone to say what they are thankful for, I dare you to raise your glass to trouble. The good kind. The life-altering kind. The kind Josie Bates faces down, Bailey Devlin bumbles through, and Finn O'Brien attacks head on. Single out a friend or loved one and say how thankful you are to know them and how wonderful it is that they have put trouble in its place. Tell them you admire them and are grateful they are there to celebrate the day.

Wishing you a season of unexpected strength and courage

that will keep trouble at bay or defeat it if it dares to defy you.