What You Say: Readers Respond

In the June Newsletter, I asked you, the reader, a question: What would you do if called upon to intervene in a public situation?  I had written about my own, small heroic moment (read about it here), confessing I did it for selfish reasons. These readers personal stories are proof the desire to help is universal.

I.M.

I had been in a branch managers meeting all day and had gone back to my office to finish some overdue paperwork. All the staff had gone home except for the on-duty rep. and the part time secretary. She was a seventeen-year-old high school girl and wanted to become a doctor. When some clients came in, she ushered them into the interview room and informed the rep who immediately went in to deal with them. She went back to her desk and broke down in tears.

I noticed this when I glanced up from my desk. I called her into my office to find out why she was so upset.  She told me that her boyfriend had just broken up with her because she was too fat. In addition, he said disparaging things about her value to society if she thought so little of herself in allowing herself to get that way.

I got up from behind my desk and sat beside her. She was a little overweight, true enough, but she was a very pretty girl. I encouraged her to talk to me and she totally broke down. I put my arm around her and spoke words of comfort ( I would be in jail today on sexual assault charges for doing that).  Anyway, I told her that she was very much valued here, everyone loved her and any boy that couldn’t see her inner beauty wasn’t worth her time. I told her that there are boys who will really appreciate what a true gem she was. She wiped her tears and went back to her desk. 

Fifteen years later I receive a phone call - it was her! Now married with two kids, she said she had been trying to find me for a long time. The day before she ran into a mutual friend who told her where I was. She wanted to take me to lunch.When we met at the restaurant, she told me that the night she was crying in my office she was going to kill herself and had the pills in her purse to do so. She felt so low and dejected and felt that nobody loved her except for her mother.  The world would be better off if she were no longer around. When I sat with her and put my arm around her and told her how much she was needed and how the team thought she was great she said it changed her. She took my advice and worked hard. She became a stock broker. She wanted to thank me for saving her life. She wanted me to know how much I meant to her.

We parted with tears in our eyes. She was now a self-assured woman, a millionaire and married with two children. It showed me that one never knows what impact one may have on another’s life - they may never let you know. This lovely young woman let me know and for that I feel so grateful and even more humbled. 

Pat S.

My private ghost isn't really the fear of being alone (a fear I confessed in the blog post). Our adult son has lived with us all of his life and probably always will. He is such a huge help around the house, especially now that we are aging like milk. My private ghost is wondering how much longer I'll be this functional. How much longer will I be able to drive safely, be able to keep the books reliably, cook etc. I know there are many who are much older than I am, and continue to function well. But each person has limitations eventually. My poor Mommy suffered greatly in her late 50's and early 60's. She passed when she was 62, a shadow of the strong, competent woman she had always been. But the ravages of emphysema had worn her down to a frail old woman. 

It felt extremely strange to turn 63, knowing I lived more years than she. Each birthday feels even more strange.

Every month, I'll share reader's responses to my posts. If you have a story to tell, please let me know. Sometimes a simple story can change us in the best way.